Strain to Gain

Courtesy of SportTalk.com.au

“Pain is weakness leaving the body.”

The macho T-shirts could not be more incorrect.

What is intended as a powerful metaphor for working through obstacles has become a mantra inviting injury.

Pain is an indicator of danger — life threatening danger.

The truth is, the most effective tool for development is strain.

It is the adaptation to an uncomfortable stimulus which stretches us beyond current boundaries, not jumping to the next plateau before we are remotely prepared.

Pushing to the edge leaves us expanded, similar to the joint aches associated with a growth spurt.

In this manner, we move improve inch by inch instead of breaking in two.

Weakness leaves the body by degrees over time.

Strain tests and builds capacity. Pain exceeds it.

Fragile Focus

Courtesy of INeedToStopSoon.com

“You’re going to screw up and make a mess.”

She was right.

I did.

My sister-in-law got in my head.

I had been alone for several days while she and my brother attended a funeral in our hometown, cooking and cleaning and caring for the the dogs without anyone to talk to.

Though I enjoy solitude, extended periods to myself invariably lead my mind to find entertainment in practicing random skills. This time, I settled on the chef’s trick of flipping eggs in the pan.

I’ve watched a lot of Food Network. How hard could it be?

I gave it a shot and got close.

I kept at it. By the sixth or seventh attempt, I could execute the basics with consistency. After that, it would be more remarkable if I failed than if I succeeded. Having added this little party favor to my cooking arsenal, I set about to show it off.

I called for attention.

I set up.

I heard those eight words.

I got nervous.

I flubbed the flip.

The meal ended up as delicious as it would have been, if a little less aesthetically pleasing.

I could only think of how easily I became rattled.

Why does new-found confidence disappear so suddenly?

How many of these little battles do we lose each day?

Our brains light up with a fresh idea and energy surges through us.

Enthusiasm bursts to the surface and we get excited to share our good news.

We tell someone and the reaction deflates us.

We hunch our shoulders in defeat and return where we came from.

We lose focus.

Here’s what happened in the kitchen: I heard her voice just as I readied my wrist for the flip and my concentration vanished. I became aware of the consistency of the egg. I noticed my grip on the pan seemed off.

Was the heat high enough?

Was it too early?

Was the right amount of oil in the pan?

I was thinking about everything but snapping my hand through the motion I knew worked and had performed several times without a hitch.

When adopting a new habit or changing a belief, the margin for error is slim.

Just as with long division and the crossover dribble, development is a conscious process at the start. Every step is measured and done and remeasured and redone until it becomes aut-o-mat-ic.

Such diligence is the difference between “good” and “great” and “exceptional” and “excellent.”

It’s time-consuming and rigorous, for sure, but worth the effort.

In the meantime, we must hold on for dear life to our fragile focus.

The Upside of Chaos

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzche 

The great ones always seem to have something more to prove.

If we tracked the career arcs of the most-admired athletes, entertainers and businessmen, we would often find them hunting for new ventures after high achievement in their chosen field or simply chasing down new dimensions to work they produced before.

The public sees the riches and fame and asks, “Why?”

Maybe they’re greedy.

Maybe it’s just ego.

Maybe it’s something different altogether.

When passion rules our lives — the kind tied to true purpose — there is an innate determination to keep going, like a surfer heading out again and again in the hopes of catching the perfect wave.

It’s not about the compensation.

It’s not even about the competition.

It’s about the connection.

To express our essence — whatever we are created to do — is to ride lightning.

The energy is necessary, because fulfilling our potential is a tiring endeavor.

It requires a single-minded doggedness and unfailing grit.

Those who push forward — who strain for the very edges of what’s possible — have a certain restlessness. Their minds are driven by the relentless pursuit of the horizon. When reaching a destination, they look around and say, “What’s next?” or “What could be done better?”

This “chaos,” as Nietzche calls it, is in actuality a quiet discontent with the idea of leaving something incomplete, of walking away before the tasks of this life are finished.

Seeking that kind of fulfillment naturally leads to upheaval and disarray.

Becoming engaged in the quest for the best of oneself demands inner turmoil.

We ask what’s possible.

We face what holds us back.

We change or rot.

We come to understand the underlying truth of what makes us legend:

No turbulence, no growth.

Unreality Check

Courtesy of BearSkinRug.co.uk

There are a few sentences I contend with immediately.

My brain is encoded to detect these phrases from across rooms. Like a sophisticated set of military instruments, my ears perk up and I instinctively tune in to the subsequent conversation.

“The University of Louisville is a fine institution.”

“Wearing brown and gray together is impossible.”

“I can tell he’s a __________ because he bought __________ and voted for ___________.”

“You have to be realistic.”

Though I refrain from running off at the mouth due to the conventions of polite conversation, I am completely unable to keep my mind from asking a simple question:

“Why?”

Those five words command people to stick with what they know. Look at what’s reachable and go for that.

Reality is stark and unfriendly.

Focusing on the perils of day-to-day life strips us of the imagination necessary to go beyond it — absent the slim hope of lottery victory.

What’s real to us is often far beneath what’s possible.

The capacity to think beyond what we can see and comprehend is the greatest of humanity’s gifts.

It defines us.

It moves us.

Advancement in any arena is the direct result of gazing towards the horizon and setting out to discover what lies beyond it.

History is the compilation of stories about those who believed this simple truth:

We can only be extraordinary if we are first unrealistic.

Brew Grit

Courtesy StopTheRemakes.com

Times get tough.

Daunting challenges bring forth the essence of our character.

Impossible odds force us to ask ourselves very serious questions about our beliefs, habits and commitment.

One could argue these situations arise to test our will, to answer a simple question:

Can we keep our eyes on the prize?

The expression of deep truth requires focus, tenacity and determination. The pursuit is long and arduous, each phase of the journey is replete with obstacles. Effort and energy must be expended in preparation, let alone in overcoming the roadblocks themselves.

The ability to persevere is, at times, all we taste of victory.

Demonstrating persistence and drive — if only to ourselves — prepares us for the slings and arrows we’ll face upon reaching our destination. We must fight tooth and nail to the end, it is the only way we can be sure to value what we have gained. It’s fair to say that, without a struggle, we could hardly be trusted with such a responsibility.

To have what we desire, we have to battle through.

Sometimes it demands quiet resolve.

Other occasions beg for seething discontent.

Either way, we can give up or brew grit.

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Life Savings

Courtesy JanWohlMuther.de

When is the proverbial “rainy day?”

The idea of putting something aside for the future is woven into the fabric of financial wisdom passed down from generation to generation. It has been — and will be — repeated by older mouths to rolling eyes over and over again. Youthful exuberance always knows best.

How often do we postpone big dreams until tomorrow?

Yesterday, I met the woman at the helm of Ravenswood Ranch, a nonprofit organization dedicated to exposing children from various backgrounds to the skills and techniques involved in owning horses — everything from basic animal care to Olympic-style equestrian riding. We talked for a few minutes about her mission and the shift she made from corporate loss prevention specialist to operating a working hacienda in urban East Palo Alto, Calfornia.

As our conversation wound down, the underlying message became clear:

Do what’s important before it’s too late.

We often think of passion projects as the stuff of people far more determined or less occupied. Our culture — for all the value it places on endeavor — is inclined to believe the few who leave the “security” of a “normal job” behind have some profound characteristic everyone else lacks.

They don’t.

Deep desire has simply found a channel to the outside world. Like west Texas oil men, those individuals have drilled through their psychological crust to pump their souls up to the surface.

What really matters takes precedent.

The truth becomes evident.

If we’re too careful, we die without ever having grasped overwhelming joy.

We have wasted our life savings.

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Structural Failure

 

Courtesy StorageMojo.com

 

Failure has many components.

There’s misguided assumptions, shaky confidence and spotty motivation. Sometimes we fall into poor environments or questionable industries.

If we can identify what leads us to falling short, we can avoid making the same mistakes again.

My life is marked by three primary situations which have made the good I might do vanish into thin air:

1. Inflexible thinking
Everybody finds inspiration in the tales of perseverance. The American legend swoons over hard-driving entrepreneurs bucking the system and doing exactly as they please to create a fortune. The rags-to-riches story is marked by instances of bravery in spite of everything pointing in the opposite direction.

What I didn’t understand is the story is less about banging my head against a wall until it breaks through than it is about adaptability. I was inflexible in my methods, my actions and my mindset— and I’ve repeated the same result over and over again.

Being open to other possibilities is the first big step towards new results.

2. Living reactive
Emergencies happen. Always. It is impossible to move through life without being caught off guard from time to time. When shifting unexpectedly, I’ve tended to spend more time playing catch up than grabbing the bull by the horns. My inability to quickly recover into a forward-thinking mentality cost me precious time sunk in doubt and self-pity.

The ability to go with the flow is very, very important. Spiraling out of control is far too easy.

3. Weak commitment
This is the hardest answer. I have to ask a tough question of the person who lies to me most–the one in the mirror. Honestly assessing whether I took the steps needed to make the desired result occur is incredibly difficult. It requires stark honesty. Plus, I have to brace myself for the possibility I don’t like the person answering the questions very much.

Getting to that point, though, opens the door to big changes and better outcomes.

Failure is only a problem if it’s the end of the story.

It can be fatal, if allowed.

If embraced as a learning opportunity, much can be taken into the next experience.

With the right attitude, it can be the foundation for a masterpiece.

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What You Hear When You Can’t See

Our brains are wired for sight.

Something on the order of three-quarters of the connections between neurons are built around processing imagery, whether getting it back to the occipital lobe or merging the separate angles and colors into an accurate picture. Even with such dedication, mistakes are made when miscalculations result in poor guesses. We call this an optical illusion.

What happens when we can’t see?

Other senses are heightened to superhuman levels, right?

Wrong.

Blindness allows other inputs unintended attention.

Current thinking holds the elimination of our primary sensation–vision–gives other stimuli free reign in the mind’s playground. Imagine for a moment your workload is suddenly cut back to 25%. Think you could encounter a lot you might have otherwise missed?

This is why every sound seems amplified when you’re walking in the dark.

It’s the same with us when our eyes are closed to purpose.

We are unsighted by either conscious choice or unconscious ignorance. We identify what is proper and avoid it or are flat-out unaware there is anything else. Lacking a central point to navigate by, we are lost and rudderless.

Then, the winds of doubt and fear blow us far off course.

“Do you really think you’re good enough to pull that off?”

“That looks too hard.”

“Maybe you should try something else instead.”

Clouded by the judgment of others and devoid of confidence, we are susceptible to anything that would push us in any direction. We drift from one whim to the next unguided and uninspired, forever tormented by a treasure we know exists and are unable to find. (I have sailed in this manner for longer than I care to admit.)

How can we get back on track?

Some are lucky and stumble upon the reason for our lives.

Most have to work for it.

Intent focus helps us quiet the noise and find a path wherever we are to go.

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The Opportunity of a Lifetime

We have but one life to live.

Days often overwhelm us, 24 hours becomes a race to be finished.

It happens to me constantly as I hustle from one task to the next in a whirlwind of activity.

Every once in a while, a shock resets our brains.

A job is lost.

Property burns down.

Loved ones die.

For an all-too-brief period, we live in the space we wish to, cherishing relationships and indulging in simple pleasures.  We share hugs and laughs and bask in the joy of our mutual connection with others. Sunshine is a luxury and conversation is a treasure.

Then, a gentle wind blows us back into the same old, same old.

Routine draws us without fail into the familiar illusion of security over and over again.

Lately, as I transition from one place to another, my mind has been meandering around the central reason for my existence. All I can tell you for certain is that I wish to leave nothing undone, to slip through the veil certain I have given all I was able to all I could have.

How does one go about doing so?

I think about this regularly.

There are a limited number of chances to make an impact in this world. Each begins when we open our eyes in the morning and ends when we close them at night. The interval between begs us to fill it with meaningful action, so much so we are often overcome by the thought of making full use of it.

I’ve been challenged to act like I have a week left on this planet, to fill what little time I have with the ecstasy of a bold heart. To answer this call, I’m asking myself two questions as often as possible:

Who can you love?

What can you give?

Today is the opportunity of a lifetime.

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Persistence

Persistence moves mountains.

Walking around Yosemite Valley, one grasps the power of consistency. Throughout the park, water moves along with quiet insistence on having its way. Snowmelt becomes the streams and waterfalls shaping future magnificence with tiny, constant force.

Pushing on is a requirement to create a masterpiece.

Battles are won by inches over miles, both within and without.

It’s not easy.

I struggle with it all the time.

It took me more than two years–and more heartache than I care to mention–to engineer a move into new surroundings.

I’ve toiled.

I’ve cried.

I’ve shaken my fists at the sky.

My heart was relentless when my brain was fed up.

I just knew.

The smallest details intrigue me. I welcome the kiss of a cool ocean breeze and stare with gratitude at the trees stretching into the sky above.

Along challenging roads and through desperate hours, I have dreamed of a time I would call this place home.

I strained.

I pushed.

I clawed the ground with my fingernails.

I can’t believe I made it so far.