Change can be lonely.
The daunting task of making a drastic shift is amplified when faced in solitude. We hear our excuses with more clarity in the silence, the positive voice between our ears drowned out by the din of old habits whining to be maintained. Crushed under the weight of our history, we slide back into the same destructive pattern for the umpteenth time.
There is no law stating such work must be done out of sight.
Grab a little help from some friends.
1. Demand honesty
It is easy — maybe even natural — to hide from the truth when it comes time to encounter our ugliness. More eyes and ears is an asset when this revelation occurs; the difference in perspectives sheds light on other aspects of a given trait or situation and opens the door to accountability in dealing with it.
The fruit of mutual, no-shit assessment is the opportunity to face the nasty stuff with a partner (or a whole brigade).
2. Receive support
One of the most underrated phrases in the English language is “I get that way, too.”
When another voice echoes our quiet thoughts, it is as though any burden is instantly split across two sets of shoulders instead of one. By sharing the load, both parties have more energy to carry out the task at hand.
There is tremendous value in having others to talk to, to share victories and defeats with.
Simply sitting in a room and telling people how we feel has incredible healing — and advancing — power.
We are social creatures.
Without someone else, it’s hard to make community improvement.