3 Ways to Ask God “Why?”

Is there only one way to get
where you’re going?

“God has a reason.”

In the midst of challenging times, someone is always there to remind you there is a grander design at work. At some point in history, someone decided hearing those four words would comfort the injured.

During crushing heartbreak, I can think of nothing I’d rather hear less.

I struggle with the idea that some of us are chosen to experience higher highs–and higher lows–than the rest of us. Why does one reach the peaks of life when another languishes in ruin? Does God like that individual better than me?

Pointing beyond this life is the next step.

Whilst your soul wails against the pain, you may feel like it’s wrong to wonder why you’re hurting so much. Years of conditioning led to you to believe you should be an unquestioning servant, yet you can’t help but ask “What good could this heartache possibly serve?”

And then you resent God.

Regardless of the answer, your despair would keep you from being satisfied with it. This is why the prism of hindsight is always clearest. Instead of looking at a tree, you’re able to see the whole forest because the wounds have healed.

I believe each of us has an ordained purpose, though we have the power to choose how well we live it out. Throughout our days, we are given forks in the road. It seems to me there is always an option to head towards “that thing” we’re made for and another to go our own way. Our degree of happiness and contentment is a good measuring stick for the righteousness of the way steered.

By accepting responsibility, you are more equipped to navigate the inevitable highs and lows of every alternative.

Over the last several months, as I’ve continued to look at the various outcomes throughout my life, I’ve come up with three questions that help me identify whether I’m on track or on my own tangent:

1. Are you suffering because of the choice you made three decisions ago?
It’s funny how picking one option leads you to stay on that same path when faced with the next turn and the ones after that. A stubborn tendency to pursue something to its end is a good thing, though you must be mindful of learning “at the end of a feather or a hammer.” The further you push along an ill-advised course, the harder you will be hit.

2. What feelings did you have at the time?
One thing I struggle with is trusting my intuition. As an example, I was talking with an ex one night about our relationship. She felt our love was unbalanced and was unsure she’d be able to make up the difference. Though she wanted to give it an effort, she intimated she “didn’t want to make any promises,” just as she had when the discussion popped up the first time.

I immediately felt a mental push to walk away, but ignored that instinct and gave her another shot. Two months later, we had the discussion again and parted ways. Unfortunately, I learned a hard lesson on the value of those flashes of certainty.

3. What can you do differently?
Avoid the temptation to let the results of a choice bring you down forever. Instead of constantly thinking you’re cursed and repeating mistakes all your life, understand the onus is on you and use that freedom to move in a new direction with the unhappy experience as a springboard.

Predestination is a convenient excuse to shed accountability, a means by which to say others are “just more blessed” or your time is “coming” while you sit idly by. The belief that you are drifting along and getting what you “should” is misguided, or at the very least incomplete. You have work to do. You have to develop your skills and abilities to do what you’re here for.

Stop ignoring your gifts. Quit insulting God.

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