Sorry, Life is Fair

It’s time to redefine the concept of fair.

I read a blog post yesterday in which a young woman described the ugliness of jealousy. In it, she makes several strong points about the nature of envy and her method to reduce it.

She included the age-old statement from stern parent to whiny kid: “Life’s not fair.”

What if the opposite is true?

What if the string of outcomes that encompass a lifetime of experiences are all justified?

I decided to examine the one experience which induces an instinctive cry of “Unfair!” in my mind long since the situation has passed.

I toured the mental wasteland of my failed business.

Almost three years later, I still have a small voice in my head that points an accusing finger at the building my office was supposed to be in.  It is as though my inner child looks through the list of offenses–the promises, the delays and, ultimately, the separation–before screaming its anguish at the rest of my consciousness all over again.

The reaction shifts when viewed with the objectivity of hindsight.

How about seeing the story from a different perspective?

Naive business owner

  1. strives to do everything on the cheap,
  2. is afraid to seek out the opinion of experts or consider alternatives and
  3. makes a series of misguided decisions.

Understanding the root causes of a problem creates an entirely new set of conclusions. The three factors listed above created an environment ripe for a failure and, true to form, the business ran into the ground.

Did other things influence the outcome? Sure, but the lion’s share of blame can be found in that list.

Every result stems from choices–conscious or unconscious.

The finish may have been unsavory but, considering the surrounding circumstances, it was certainly fair.

Reality does not flinch when you moan about what you did not know or could not see. Like a calculator, it simply takes all the various inputs and adds them up to produce an answer.

Your good intentions carry no weight.

Your poor judgment does.

If you’re playing with fire, chances are good you’ll get burned.

Does this absolve others of guilt in your situation? No. You followed a certain path based somewhat on their actions. Believing in their integrity and truth–however sincere they actually were–may have pushed you one way or another.

You are the one who will trudge off with the baggage in the end, no matter if you’re mistreated by a lover or lied to by a CEO.

Unfortunately, you must reap the fruit of all you sow–even when it’s done with misplaced trust.

Sorry, life is fair.

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5 Responses to “Sorry, Life is Fair”


  1. 1 Malboro Girl July 16, 2010 at 7:52 am

    you just change something in my way of thinking. so we can see things by this: life is fair… as we get what we search, what we deserve, what we fight for.

    so great! bravo!

    • 2 Jason Eichacker July 16, 2010 at 2:17 pm

      Thanks! It’s hard to call things like a brain tumor “fair,” it’s far easier to understand when you look at the root causes (like genetics in the case of cancer, e.g.). When we complain about a situation, I think it can be the result of a lack of clarity surrounding what brought it about or the emotions of dealing with the unexpected.


  1. 1 The Fear Soliloquy « MeBuilding Trackback on July 20, 2010 at 12:35 pm
  2. 2 The Failure Soliloquy « MeBuilding Trackback on July 21, 2010 at 8:16 am
  3. 3 The Gift from Above « MeBuilding Trackback on July 26, 2010 at 7:46 am
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