The Law of Influence

Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.


We are selfish creatures.

We can’t help it.

Two thousand centuries of evolution have trained us to cooperate solely when we can benefit. The whole of human history is reliant upon this tendency to seek out a balanced exchange between “us” and “them.” It is why we formed tribes, built farms and eventually settled into towns.

Our lives are, in effect, ruled by a sort of social commerce.

We seek to receive proper payment for services rendered, whether in business or relationships. Though we don’t realize it, we’ve set up a system of scorekeeping tucked away in our collective subconscious built around the concept of fairness. Most of us do our best to make sure everybody wins, everywhere, every time.

In The Go-Giver, Sam Rosen explains how to counteract this mindset from his office at Liberty Life Insurance and Financial Services Company:

Watch out for the other guy. Watch out for his interests. Watch his back. Forget about fifty-fifty, son. Fifty-fifty’s a losing proposition. The only winning proposition is one hundred percent. Make your win about the other person, go after what he wants.

Life’s biggest winners give without a second thought.

Most of the time, this begins with a simple act: listening. If done correctly, we understand how we might help lighten another’s load. Lend a hand, share a resource — these are easy things that can have drastic effects in the lives we touch.

The incredible part of offering ourselves without hesitation is what it reminds us: we’re not alone.

Being considerate of another’s needs refreshes their memory of this truth. And, by offering support without concern for what we’re getting, the time will come when — since everyone innately wants to help those who help them — we will remember because someone else aids us.

To be open in this way — to share whatever possible — is to embrace the soul’s greatness.

As I’ve written before, “giving is living.”

Do for others and they will do for you.

This is the third in a five-part series discussing the core principles of The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann. If you’d like a preview of this wonderful book, download the first chapter here.


3 Responses to “The Law of Influence”

  1. 1 Bob Burg October 6, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Thank you, Dr. Jason – what an honor to know you are doing a series based on John David Mann’s and my book. Much appreciated!!


  1. 1 Wealth of Relations « MeBuilding Trackback on October 18, 2010 at 5:54 am
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