Renewal

Courtesy Dave Bunnell

It is a curious thing, to look at yourself.

At first, you meander casually on the trail with little sense of direction or intent.

You pass cherished memories.

You reflect on the years.

You see something.

Suddenly, your pleasant stroll is interrupted by a form in the shadows. Your interest is piqued and, being inquisitive about yourself, you decide to venture deeper into the forest of your experiences. Over time, the beaten track disappears into undergrowth…until you discover a cave. Having come this far, you are unable to resist the temptation to see what lies below.

Naturally, you wish to return to your original course.

You tie off a rope and cast it into the subterranean abyss.

You grab a makeshift torch and drop into the darkness.

You tread further into inky blackness, entranced by each new discovery. You drive on, nearly running to see what’s next, half-expecting to find your way to China.

Instead, you uncover your core.

You find what shaped your life.

Then, you wonder if you like it.

You realize you are different as you strain to climb back up.

You’ve identified what’s important and reaching the surface causes a pit in your stomach.

The path you were on may be insufficient for you.

Or, frighteningly, you may be insufficient for the path.

Personal examination is necessary, if we wish to live well.

I have fallen short over the last six weeks or so. A faulty laptop inhibited my ability to write and exposed what
I quietly acknowledged:

The pursuit of passion is not meant to be a chore.

This is a case of good intentions run amok, a notion the content’s utility was more important than the person behind it. In focusing on producing useful information for you, the reader, to consume, I stopped caring as much about what’s delivered and how.

Writing became a job.

This blog wandered far afield from its original purpose — my own expression of a best life and the quest to live it. A simple glance to the right will show you an unbalanced number of entries in one category, “Me-Evolution Will Be Televised.” What was meant to be an all-encompassing look into what I’ve cobbled together in my thirty years — as well as what I’ve disassembled and rebuilt — succumbed to the chase for “commercial appeal.”

I have lost sight of my mission — renewal.

Going forward in 2011, I wish to return to the first premise, to flesh out the entirety of what popped into my head about a year ago when I started writing again on Tumblr with MeGeneration:

All of me.

I mean this figuratively and somewhat literally. I aim to continue providing insight across the range of my understanding, from physics to faith and everything in between. In addition, I’ll expose you to my taste in music, philosophical inspirations and thoughts on health. Smashing these diverse interests together is me and my hope is you’ll find some of yourself in the words I string together.

A full life is a goal worth reaching for. To do that, we must push to the very edges of human potential and begin asking questions. And, in the process, we will find the very nature of who we are meant to be. Armed with this understanding, each of us has an opportunity for tremendous achievement in our remaining days.

I can’t show you how to succeed.

I will, however, show you how I try.

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